The femslash effect
by yellow 14
Summary: Ever wonder what happens to the guys in W.I.T.C.H when the girls are into each other? Take a look. My first W.I.T.C.H humourfic


Disclaimer: I don't own W.I.T.C.H and you've got to be pretty stupid to think I do.

AN: A muse is a strange little creature. This little fic caught me by surprise. I enjoy W.I.T.C.H femslash far too much to be healthy.

Matt sat in the bar, looking down at his beer. Opposite him sat his friend and fellow band member, Nigel. They had both just been dumped by their respective long-term girlfriends and wanted to get thoroughly drunk.

"Ya know what the worst part of it is?" Matt asked, slightly slurring his words. "The worst of it is, is that I didn't get dumped for another guy, no. Will left me for Taranee. Now that hurts, really cuts me to the bone that does."

"Know what you bro. How we managed to end up dating a pair of lesbians I don't know. Seriously, we must be the most unlucky guys in Heatherfield." Nigel replied, his eyes becoming slightly unfocused.

Just then, a tall dark haired man, who they both knew oh so well, walked in with a devastated look on his face.

"Hey Caleb man, what's up?" Matt called from across the bar. Grabbing a glass of beer, he walked over to where they were sitting.

"Cornelia's just told me she's found someone else." He said morosely.

"Really? You know who?" Nigel asked curiously.

"Yeah." He paused, unsure of what to say next. "She's in love with Elyon."

The two of them looked at Caleb with sympathy.

"Same thing happened to us." Matt said as he leaned back. He grabbed his glass and downed his drink in one swallow. Staggering over to the bar, he ordered another drink.

"Right bunch of unlucky losers aren't we?" Caleb asked glumly. Nigel and Matt nodded in agreement.

"All we need now is for…." His voice trailed off as he saw Erich Lyndon walk in, his tanned skin looking unhealthy under the neon lights.

"Ok I'm beginning to think I'm dreaming here." Caleb said as he watched Erich get a beer. Spotting them at the table, he came over, but before he could speak, Matt beat him to it.

"Let me guess." He began "Hay Lin's found someone else right?" Eric nodded. "And that someone else is another girl." Eric nodded again. "So who's she fallen for?"

"Irma" he said sadly. Behind the bar, there was a tinkling noise as a barman dropped a glass. As he turned to face them, they recognised him right away.

"Irma? As in Irma Lair?" Martin asked in surprise. Eric nodded. "But… I love Irma."

The four boys looked at each other. Martin's attempts at wooing Irma were noteworthy in their persistence and predictability. Despite the fact that she always turned him down, he kept on asking.

Erich put his hands on his head and sighed. "This is either a very bad dream, or we're in somebody's fanfic."

The others looked at him in surprise. "Eric" Caleb began "You're breaking the fourth wall. You know that's not allowed."

"Sod the fourth wall." Matt said belligerently "I want my Will back!"

And with that statement he stormed out, muttering under his breath about what he was going to do to this fanfic author when he found him. Yellow 14 merely sat at his computer and continued to type.

A few drinks later, Caleb suggested they follow Matt's lead. As is often the case, this sounded much better when they were drunk. Storming out into the night, staggering about drunkenly, they tried to find a way beyond the fourth wall. They eventually fell asleep in a pile, conveniently enough, next to Matt. When they woke up in the morning, they were nursing the most incredible hangovers. Looking around, Caleb asked the first question that came to mind.

"What happened last night?"

"I dunno, but it was something big." Matt replied

"Oh I didn't know you guys were gay as well!" Hay Lin said in a voice so cheery that it ought to be illegal. Or at least that's what it sounded like to the four hungover young men. Then her words sank in and they scattered. Hay Lin's face assumed a puzzled expression.

"Was it something I said?"

AN: Don't ask what my muse was thinking, I really don't know.


End file.
